Lessons Learned, Relationships

Flubbed Love

Everyone deserves a happily ever after.  No matter how tough, how cold, how emotional, everyone deserves to find the person that completes their heart.  Compliments their soul.  Brings out their best, and stands by their side at their worst.  You and I are no exception.  Somewhere out there is your special someone.  Your Prince Charming, your Cinderella, your other, better half.  Keep searching, and one day you will find them.  Maybe you already have.  Either way, I hope that what follows will help to ensure that happiness will always follow.

I am not here to tell you what to do.  You don’t need to be told.  I am no expert on relationships.  This is about showing you what I have learned.  Failure is life’s greatest teacher, but failure will always follow you if you don’t see and learn from your mistakes.  Most of your romantic relationships will fail.  It is a fact.  Most of mine have.  I am here to tell you, that is OK.  It is inevitable when you stop to think about it.  Only one relationship can be your forever and it takes time and a lot of failure and heartbreak to get there.  And if you are one of the lucky few who found their forever on the first shot, congratulations.  Good for you, however, you are missing one of life’s greatest lessons.  Heartbreak happens, life can become difficult, disappointment happens, but your ability to persist will make you stronger than you were before.

Do not mistake my meaning or intent.  Getting your heart broken sucks.  It is awful.  It feels like your world has shattered into a million pieces that can’t possibly be put back together.  They can’t.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t take those pieces and build something better.  Something different.  Something entirely new.  Lessons are learned.  Personal and emotional evolution takes place.  That is why I am here.  This isn’t about any one specific break up.  This is about them all.  What did I do wrong?  What did they do wrong?  What could have been done better?  What should I or they have done more?  Less?  

Some people may think these are dangerous questions.  I couldn’t disagree more.  These are the only questions.  Rather than looking at them as drowning in a sea of doubt and despair, look at them as guideposts along your path to becoming better.  Acknowledge your mistakes.  Identify theirs.  Come up with ways to change and improve.  If you ignore the problems, they will never get solved.  If you dwell on them, the same result.  Careful consideration.  Practical application.  If you think you don’t need to always get better, constantly improve, you have bigger problems than relationships.

This is about telling you my story.  What I have learned.  What I hope to do better.  What I want and need to do more or less of.  How I view the way I have behaved in relationships, but also, how I perceive what I was told by the person I was with.  At the end of the day, your opinion matters, but theirs does too.  If more than one person identifies an issue you have, it might be worth you looking into it.  That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.  Far from it.  All it means is that more than one person is perceiving the same thing.  It isn’t an anomaly, it is an observation from multiple sources.  I am not telling you to believe the crowd.  You are responsible for what and how you interpret things.  The more open-minded you approach anything in life, especially relationships, the more likely you are to succeed, even if it isn’t today.

Whether you are currently in a relationship, in pursuit, or just trying to improve, I sincerely hope that what follows will guide you on a path towards living in a happy and healthy relationship.  Read it all at once, or one at a time.  However you learn and improve, I encourage you to embrace it.  You deserve to find that special someone, and they deserve to find you too.

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2 thoughts on “Flubbed Love

  1. I completely agree with you. It is not an easy process when you put your heart and soul in your relation, yet you become stronger. In fact, when a door closes, another one opens … In my opinion, it applies to relationships, too. Thank you for sharing truth and wisdom!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Not easy indeed. So long as you learn and have no regrets, well worth the effort. One of my favorite quotes is “A lesson learned should be a lesson shared.” It is never too late to learn and share. Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to respond!

      Liked by 1 person

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