Lessons Learned, Relationships

Lesson 10: Follow through with your words and actions

Finish what you initiate or start.  A little teasing may seem fun and innocent, and in some cases it is.  To a certain, and agreed-upon extent.  Like everything in life, there are limits you need to be aware of.  Too much teasing for too long and failing to follow through on enough occasions can bring you into dangerous territory.

This one semi falls under the mistake of getting stuck in your own world.  When it comes to teasing too often without following through, you are basically being a sensual bully.  It is one thing to do it with a more casual encounter, it is quite another to continuously do it to someone you claim to love.  Your significant other is not one of your pets.  They are worth so much more than that and you need to treat them that way.  Don’t tease without the intention to finish.  It is selfish and just plain rude.

Failure to follow through can also have many other negative effects on the relationship as well.  Your word is the most important and most valuable asset you have.  Communication can be both verbal and nonverbal so your actions speak a lot for you as well.  If you say you are going to do something and then fail to do it, your words lose value.  The same goes for your actions.  When you touch or behave in a sensual way towards your significant other but continuously fail to follow through, it can have the same effect.

Don’t fall into the trap of believing they will always put up with it or that, because they love you, it is OK, or that because they put up with it on a few occasions, they will always put up with it.  A slight tease here and there is one thing, but doing it long or often enough will serve only to reinforce the idea that you are deceptive and misleading.  Just because it doesn’t feel like lying to you, doesn’t mean you are not convincing them that you are a liar.  Know and understand the person you are with.  If you don’t see or know the boundaries, then ask.  Better to ask and understand, then assume and lose.

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