Lesson 26: Relationships are not a power struggle

Relationships should be healthy and fun.  They should be fantastic and exciting.  They are the goal of most people in life.  They can be in your control, their control, or at the mercy of fate and circumstance.  Most importantly, they are very delicate.  Even the strongest and most committed relationship can be undone by seemingly insignificant circumstances.  It is up to you and your partner to ensure that you work together to maintain the strength of your relationship.  

Like working out in the gym to strengthen your body, or reading a book to strengthen your mind, relationships are in constant need of maintenance and strengthening.  It is a team effort.  It is ok to take control from time to time but it is a power that needs to be treated with respect.  Having power doesn’t mean you can’t exercise a delicate nature from time to time.  It also doesn’t mean that power belongs to either one of you.  

Much like the three times in a relationship, this is one of those things that requires an equitable balance.  A relationship is a shared experience.  A shared experience calls for shared input and control.  Decisions should be unanimous.  Just because you are at the helm of the ship, doesn’t mean you should stop listening to the other person (people) that keep the ship afloat and functioning.  Otherwise, it isn’t much of a relationship.

It doesn’t matter if you are the breadwinner.  It doesn’t matter if you are the homemaker.  It is not about who does more chores or pays more bills.  It is about balance and consensus.  You are not a military unit storming a beach that is in need of a solid and unbreakable chain of command.  Relationships do not need a captain or CEO.  They need love and balance.  They thrive on equal input and love.  If you are looking to be the boss, perhaps you should start a company or work hard to get promoted within one.  Relationships are not the place for a dictatorship.

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