Lesson 27: Look for the signs, good and bad

Things in life aren’t always clear.  You need to pay attention.  You need to focus.  Listening and paying attention to everything, big and small, can make all the difference.  No matter what, there are always signs telling you how things are going.  Sometimes they are obvious.  Continuous smiling, affectionate acts, laughs, and constant excitement.  A lot of the time, the signs can sneak up on you, and if you aren’t paying close enough attention, you might miss them entirely.  

Don’t let them catch you off guard.  This is where happiness checks come in handy.  This is when you need to ask questions.  These can be the times that communication is the most critical.  If you don’t know, ask.  If you are not sure, ask.  If you think you know or believe you are sure, ASK ANYWAYS.  Let them know how important they are to you by keeping the communication active and frequent.  Knowing that you can ask is not an excuse to not pay attention.  It is a valuable tool to use in order to gain clarity about the situation.

If you start seeing signs that make you feel uneasy, trust your instincts.  Your instincts are a lot smarter than you are.  This is not a cause for arguments or accusations.  It just means that something is not being communicated properly or there is a serious problem with the relationship.  You need to address it.  You both need to address it.  Relationships are a team effort.

If you start seeing signs that make you feel like things are going well, capitalize on it.  Buy them flowers.  Cook them a nice surprise meal one day when they get home from work.  Do something exciting or relaxing together.  Most importantly, let them know that things are going very well and that you are very happy.  Guess what!  They are not likely a mind reader either.  Communication is a two-way street.  Verbal and nonverbal communication are essential to constantly work on and improve.

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