Lesson 36: All of your failed relationships have on thing in common, you

Do not misinterpret my meaning.  I am not saying it is all your fault.  I am not pointing a finger at you and saying you are the one to blame.  All I am saying is that no matter what, you are the only one you have any control over and you are the only true constant in your relationships.  This isn’t about shame or guilt.  This is about self reflection.  It is about having an open mind.  You need to be able to take a step back and look at the situation objectively.

Humility check.  It is important to fail.  Necessary, even.  Failure gets such a bad stigma but no one gets everything right on the first try.  Failure is life’s greatest teacher.  Taking responsibility for your part is essential to learning and growing.  It is the one thing that you have any true control over.  A relationship is about the connection between you and whoever the relationship is with.  No matter what happened, you share in the successes, but you share in the failure(s) as well.  You can either look at it as a learning experience or ignore it and continue making the same mistakes.

Take a big bite of humble pie.  Life is too short to keep playing the blame game.  Take what you liked from the relationship and move on.  Take notice of what you didn’t like from the relationship and adjust accordingly.  It is an ongoing, never-ending process.  There is always room for improvement and growth.  If you don’t believe that is the case, then that right there is your problem that you need to work on.  See Lesson 35 if you think you are some finished masterpiece that is a gift to the world.  Confidence is about continuous improvement and overcoming adversity.  Take ownership and keep pushing forward.

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