Lesson 39: Get rid of all your lifeboats

If you are going to be in a romantic relationship with someone, then be in that relationship.  Commit yourself fully to it.  Your attitude and commitment towards anything in life determines how well or poorly things will go.  You might be wondering what lifeboats have to do with relationships.  Like a lot of what I say, it is another metaphor.  A lifeboat, when it comes to relationships, is basically a fall back plan or person, in the event that your relationship fails.

This is the wrong attitude to take into any relationship.  There are times and places for a plan B, but romantic relationships are not among them.  You are essentially entering the relationship with the belief that there is a distinct possibility that the relationship will fail.  The problem is, plan B or not, that possibility always exists.  Entering a relationship with a plan B is basically entering the relationship with less focus and devotion to it than a relationship requires.

Romantic relationships demand all of your attention.  They require complete commitment.  A devotion that is not attainable with a plan B attitude or mentality.  I am sorry to tell you this, but if you have a plan B, the chances you will need it have already increased.  There is also the possibility or likelihood that your partner will learn of your plan B.  Good luck explaining that to them.

I am not saying that you have to cease all contact with anyone of the opposite (or same, depending on your personal preferences) gender. I am addressing your attitude and mindset revolving around that communication.  Your attitude will dictate your actions and if you are not fully committed to the relationship you are in, it will inevitably show.  “Where the mind goes, the body will follow.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

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