Lesson 43: Don’t judge your relationship by the standards of others

Everyone has an opinion.  Everyone has a way of looking at things and evaluating the situation based on their own experiences and that is the way of the world.  It is important to not only understand that, you need to expect it as well.  People will take your story and make an effort to relate it to theirs.  They also have their own understanding of how things should proceed for others and that is OK.  Just remember that their advice and choices, much like everything I have written so far, and will continue to write, are based on personal history and experiences.

The opinion of others should have value, whether it is good or bad.  It is information that is coming from an outside source so there is valuable perspective being provided.  Don’t be afraid to accept input from others.  That is one of many ways to learn and get an evaluation of things from a fresh perspective.  Remember that your opinion is the one that matters most.  The person most affected by the decisions you make is going to be you.

Your relationships will always be unique.  It may have some similarities to others, it may have many, but it will never be the same thing.  Using the relationships of others as a guidepost or measurement for your own will have many results, but none of them accurate or even very helpful.  Judge your relationships based on your wants and desires.  Gauge the relationship by how happy you are and how happy your significant other is.  Everything else is just noise and distraction.

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