Lesson 51: Live together before marriage

This can be a tough one.  There are a lot of factors involved and a lot of planning that needs to be done.  I get it.  This is a big step no matter how you slice it.  Just know that it can also be the difference maker.  People have so many different sides.  It is inevitable.  They have the personality that is for work, one for their friends, one for school maybe, one with their family, and then there is the one they have with you.  The one with you is the one to focus on.

Who they are when you are out together in public, is not likely going to be the same exact person in private.  As circumstances change, so do people’s personalities and attitudes.  It can be a good thing or it can end up being awful.  The only way you can truly know whether or not you will be able to live with someone, is to actually live with them.  All the subtle things that you miss or don’t have any exposure to because of less time around each other or because your only interactions are out in public are easy to miss or not fully understand.

There is no set time period and this is not a one size fits all suggestion.  This is based on personal experiences and from what I have seen in the relationships of others.  How else are you supposed to be able to find out whether or not you will be able to live with someone unless you actually go ahead and live with them?  Makes sense right?  It sounds simple enough but make sure you proceed with care and caution.  Take things slow.  Don’t rush.  This can end up being a double edged sword.

It is easy to intertwine two lives when you are at your very best.  The hard times will inevitably come.  This is where the true tests come and seeing by living together, you are getting the full picture.  It is difficult to hide or avoid the other person during tough times when you live together and these are the tests that will demonstrate what a future with this person could look like.  Do the hard times bring you together?  Are you able to face them together?  Or does the divide become too much to handle?

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