Lesson 2: Not showing enough affection and love

You could say “I love you” a thousand times.  They are some of the most powerful words you can speak.  In my opinion, they possess the greatest meaning of any phrase ever spoken.  They are magical for the ears and medicinal to the soul.  They require a great deal of thought and consideration and are an implication of a greater commitment.  It is important to also remember, at the end of the day, they are only words.  The meaning and value can only be defined by the actions that accompany them.  The proof is in your actions.    

The size or scale of the action do not matter as much as you might think.  Small actions like holding hands a little more tightly and a little more often.  Maintaining those hugs and kisses a few seconds longer than you normally might.  Looking into each other’s eyes with passion.  Holding that gaze long enough to realize that you are both seeing more than just each other’s eyes.  Caressing their face gently with your hand, reinforced with all the love you possess.  They don’t want to just see or hear about how much you love them.  They want to feel it.

In most cases, all of these are so much more desirable than a meaningless butt grab.  While fun at times, these serve no further purpose than demonstrating childishness and disrespect.  Don’t get me wrong, in the right setting, the right context, a consensual grope in certain areas can have a good, loving, and desirable effect.  Knowing when, where, and how these gestures are appropriate should be communicated with the other person.  I will talk more about communication shortly, but good communication will always be the key to a happy and successful relationship.

Good communication has the ability to show love and affection, but why stop there?  They deserve to be shown every day and every night, multiple times each if possible,  how much love you have for them.  All of the little gestures of love and affection add up.  Love isn’t any one individual moment.  It is all the moments.  All of the moments added up over time.  Like a beautiful plant, it needs to be continuously tended to.  Without constant effort and attention, it will wither and die.

 Grand gestures are great, but they are not the only way, and you shouldn’t rely too heavily on them unless you are able to do them frequently.  It can sometimes become easy to forget that a few grand gestures a year, while nice, are too spread out.  Too much time can pass.  The other problem with a few grand gestures a year is it can start to feel like a chore, rather than something pleasant and loving.  They run the risk of turning from loving gestures, into buying a little less nagging throughout the year.  Not exactly a romantic sentiment.

There are plenty of easy and cost effective ways to do this.  The best part, you don’t have to worry about going out of your way or breaking the bank.  Instead of buying them a bouquet of flowers while you are at the store, keep your eyes open on your way home for a flower to pick.  Instead of taking them to a restaurant, cook something.  Cooking together is nice, but having something ready when they get home is nice too.  It doesn’t matter if it was a great or horrible day at work for them (though you should still ask and listen), there is something truly wonderful about getting home and there being a nice meal that is ready to eat.  Instead of going to a bar or club, put something nice on the radio and dance around your home.


  1. Gift from the heart, not the wallet
  2. Don’t wait for special occasions
  3. You don’t have to break the bank to show you care
  4. Be more empathetic
  5. The proof is in your actions

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