Lesson 5: Taking things for granted

No one owes you their heart and love.  No one owes you anything.  You can’t remind them enough of how much they mean to you.  You are not better than them, or anyone for that matter.  To think you are better than anyone automatically makes you worse.  It has never been about who is better for who or what changes you can make to their life.  If you think you are better than someone, you have already proven you are not.  

You can be better without thinking you are better.  Having a slice of humble pie every now and then is a good thing.  Have you ever thought that you were the best thing ever to happen to someone?  You look at their past and think, “Oh my aren’t they lucky I came into their life,” or “I am clearly an improvement over everything I can see in their past.”  Guess what.  You might have been, but that train of thought just demonstrated that all you are is different, not better.  It is easy to look at someone’s past and make judgements.  It is not so easy to look at that same past with some empathy.

You don’t know what the circumstances were.  You weren’t there.  It wasn’t happening to you.  You were not put into the same exact position and facing the options that they were facing.  Hindsight is not 20/20 in these situations because it is not possible for you to truly and entirely understand the situation(s) they faced.  It may give you a brief glimpse into the person you are now with, but don’t for one second think that you are so mighty, divine, or intelligent, that you have the ability to fully grasp what took place.   

While you may be an improvement on that past, that doesn’t mean they want or need your reminder of it.  Just because someone tells you that you are the best thing that ever happened to them doesn’t mean that you are exempt from behaving in a more respectable or behaviorally acceptable manner.  Continue being the best thing that ever happened to them.  Say and do nice things that make them feel special.  Just because you are the best thing in their life today, doesn’t mean that will be the case tomorrow.  Like most things in life, it is an ongoing, never-ending process.  Commit to being and doing better by them and for them.  

You have to continually show that you are the person they love.  The person they want to be with.  The person that makes them feel like there is nothing in the world that is more special than the love that you share.  You have to be all those things every day.  Never let it get to your head.  You are allowed to be comfortable, but try to avoid getting complacent.  Things are continually changing and you have to constantly adapt.  Complacency can be your undoing.  The love has to continue to grow and evolve every day.

It is essential to remember that they might not always be there.  All things come to an end eventually so you have to take the most advantage of the time you have.  Instead of thinking you are the best thing for them, look for why and how they are the best thing for you.  If you can’t answer those questions, then perhaps you are not in the right relationship or with the right person.  Having the answers to those questions will help to ensure that the relationship is, and continues to stay, strong. 

Takeaways:

  1. Nothing is guaranteed
  2. Embrace humble pie
  3. Commit to being better
  4. Complacency kills
  5. Savor every moment

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