Lesson 10: Follow through with your words and actions

Finish what you start.  Nobody likes a tease.  A little teasing may seem fun and innocent, and in some cases it is.  This is only to a certain, and agreed-upon extent.  Like everything in life, there are limits you need to be aware of.  Too much teasing for too long and failing to follow through on enough occasions can bring you into dangerous territory.  It raises uncomfortable questions and can lead to unnecessary conflict.

  This one semi falls under the mistake of getting stuck in your own world.  When it comes to teasing too often without following through, you are basically being a sensual bully.  It is one thing to do it with a more casual encounter, it is quite another to continuously do it to someone you claim to love.  Your significant other is not one of your pets.  They are worth so much more than that and you need to treat them that way.  Don’t tease without the intention to finish.  It is selfish and just plain rude.

You are not the only person in the room.  Your opinion and satisfaction, while important, are not the only things that matter.  When you start something, anything really, there is an unwritten understanding that there was a reason you started.  There is a social expectation that if you start something, it is something that you intend to finish.  In a relationship, this could be anything from a sensual encounter, to doing the laundry or dishes, cleaning out the office, or even committing to a long-term, permanent, ever-lasting, love-filled relationship.

Failure to follow through can have many unpredictable and negative effects on the relationship.  Your word is the most important and most valuable asset you have.  It can’t be bought with anything material.  Once your word loses value, it is incredibly difficult, border lining impossible, to ever recover from the damage caused.  Words cannot be unspoken and actions cannot be undone.  

Communication can be both verbal and nonverbal so your actions speak a lot for you, whether you notice it or not.  If you say you are going to do something and then fail to do it, your words lose value.  The same goes for your actions.  For example, when you touch or behave in a sensual way towards your significant other but continuously fail to follow through, it can have the same effect as if you told them you were going to do something important, and then didn’t.  Maybe you get away with it a few times, or maybe you get away with it for a few years.  Either way, eventually, it will come back to you.

Don’t fall into the trap of believing they will always put up with it or that, because they love you, it is OK, or that because they put up with it on a few occasions, they will always put up with it.  A slight tease here and there is one thing, but doing it long enough, or often enough, it will serve only to reinforce the idea that you are deceptive and misleading.  Just because it doesn’t feel like lying to you, doesn’t mean you are not convincing them that you are a liar.  Know and understand the person you are with.  If you don’t see or know the boundaries, then ask.  Better to ask and understand, then assume and lose.

Romantic relationships are the easiest example due to the fact that you are likely around your significant other often enough for this to be a much more delicate issue.  While the circumstances and the context will vary, this applies towards all your relationships.  No matter how great you are, or how true you hold to your word, the time(s) you let them down or failed to follow through will always be remembered.  Follow through.  Finish what you start.

Takeaways:

  1. You are not the only person in the room
  2. Nobody likes a tease
  3. Your word is the most important asset you have
  4. The time(s) you don’t follow through are remembered 

Finish what you start 

3 Comments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s