Lesson 13: Stop caring so much about what others think

This is so much more difficult than it sounds.  How many times have you tried convincing yourself or others that what other people think does not bother you?  How many times have you sworn that the opinions of others don’t effect or impact your thoughts or decisions?  It is one thing to keep saying it, but it is entirely something else to put into practice.  I have always seen and experienced this issue most when it comes to romantic relationships.  Everyone always seems to think they know what and who is best for you.

How well do you know yourself?  Do you ever talk to yourself?  Do you find it weird that you do?  Well, don’t.  Everyone talks to themselves in some capacity and those that say they don’t, news flash, are lying.  It is a valuable way to analyze information.  In the end, most of the things in life that will impact you most are your own decisions.  You are responsible for the choices you make, whether or not someone else influenced them.  I am not saying to ignore or disregard the input of others.  I am only suggesting that you ensure you are in control of your choices.         

Your relationship only belongs to you and whoever you are with.  No one is going to make your choices for you and no one other than you and the person you are with has to live with the consequences of your decisions.  It is yours to be shared with whomever you choose who also feels the same way about you.  An outside perspective may be nice, and in many ways, can be very helpful.  The trick is to understand that, no matter what is said, that perspective is coming from a person that will never have all of the information available or necessary.  

It is so easy to forget that everyone has input when it comes to the lives of others.  Everyone has their own opinion.  Everyone has their own way of how they believe everything should be and their opinion on the matter is the one and only relationship truth.  They are allowed to feel that way.   That doesn’t mean their opinion has to become yours.  The only opinions that truly matter are the opinions that you decide matter.  Even then, in the end, the decisions you are making are yours.  Others don’t see everything.  Their opinions are based solely on their personal experiences, their encounters with you, and their encounters with your significant other.  While they may have a genuine concern for your happiness and well being, it is important to remember that a lot of opinions are more about ego satisfaction.  

It is up to you to determine what information is of value and what is nothing more than space filling nonsense.  Just because someone has known you longer, doesn’t make their input all the wiser.  It is one thing to let someone spout their opinion, it is another to let that opinion unjustly impact your own.  Others may think that they understand or see, but they are missing a lot of the little details that have a tendency to make the greatest impact.  Little things that seem insignificant, but when mixed with enough of the other little, unseen things, end up making a big difference.  It is also important to understand that the consequences of letting others dictate how your relationship should go, do not just impact you.  They will affect your significant other as well.  Pick and choose the opinions that matter to you most, but remember, that never has to be what you think.

At the end of the day, the only thing that truly matters is what is between you and the person you love.  They are the one you are involved with romantically and that is where the decisions should be made.  They are the ones that you come home to and they are the ones that your life will continue to be associated with.  The only person that can truly impact your level of happiness is you.  You choose what to believe and what to apply.  Everything else is just noise.  Others can say and think whatever they want but when talking about the relationship of others, remember that they are not the ones going home to face them.  There is a lot that takes place out of their view.  It is a balance and you have to determine what is acceptable to you.  In the end, no one will ever know more about your relationship than you.  Act like it.

Takeaways:

  1. Everyone has their own opinion
  2. Your opinion is the only one that matters
  3. Your relationship belongs to you and whoever you are with
  4. Learn to identify what information/input is helpful
  5. No one knows more about your relationship than you

3 Comments

  1. It’s all a balance, as you said. Listen to the opinion for sometimes it can be helpful but do not weigh yourself down with that outside opinion for only you know the full facts of what is and what isn’t.

    Love this.

    Like

    1. Thank you. It can sometimes be difficult to reach a good balance between healthy outside input and allowing the opinions of others to supersede your own. That has been my experience at least. I like the way you put it so much better. “do not weigh yourself down with that outside opinion” is a fantastic way to put it. I love that! Thank you so much!

      Liked by 1 person

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