Lesson 20: Leave work at work

No matter how much you love what you do, there needs to be some separation between

work life and home life.  They are two separate worlds and it is unlikely that the attitude and demeanor you need to maintain in a business setting is going to work very well in a romantic setting.  It is the same concept as the way you act around your friends versus the way you act around your family.  Probably not quite the same right?  Work needs to be left at the office because the stresses and anxieties, if brought home, can create a toxic environment in the house.

How many times have you heard this one?  What does that even mean?  Leave work at work?  It sounds a bit cliché, I admit, but this is an issue that, no matter how well you think you have a handle on it, is always difficult to accomplish.  Emotions are difficult to control and even harder to forget or ignore.  There are a lot of different ways to go about this, but you have to find what works best for you.  There is no one size fits all and there is no perfect strategy that works 100% of the time.  It is an ongoing process and something you should discuss with your significant other.

For me personally, I have found that having some kind of physical outlet between getting off work and getting home works the best for multiple reasons.  It creates a separation between work life and home life.  I go to the gym and spend time focusing on a task that is not frustrating to me.  Lifting weight takes a lot of concentration, focus, and physical exertion.  All of that built up energy gets put to good use while also taking your mind off of the office.  It is also a way to stay physically and mentally healthy, which in turn, makes it easier to maintain a positive attitude throughout the day.  For you, maybe it could be meditation, stopping by the library to pick up a new book to read, or even stopping by the grocery store to pick out what you are going to make for dinner.  

All of those, and more, can accomplish more than just feeling and looking better.  You get home and work isn’t so fresh on the mind.  You have had time to focus on something you like or enjoy and your mood is significantly improved.  Looking back on the workday is done with some time of reflection in between and you are less likely to download what might have been a bad day in a place that is meant for love, rest, and relaxation.  You owe it to yourself and to everyone in your life to be the best version of yourself that you can be.  It doesn’t matter if the day was good or bad, it is about living in the moment.  The moments you are with your loved ones at home should be loving and beautiful.

Bad days happen.  Maybe they are inevitable.  It is your responsibility how you handle them.  Rather than taking out your anger on a difficult customer or colleague or your significant other, you throw that fuel into a few extra sets on the weight room floor.  Or maybe you spend an extra 10 to 15 minutes on the treadmill or elliptical machine.  Try swinging by the market and looking at some ideas for a healthy and well balanced dinner.  Stop by the park, pick out a bench or a nice spot in the grass where you can sit peacefully for a bit.  Instead of allowing difficulties at work to spill over into your home life, put them to good, productive use at the gym, or in dance or karate class.  Anywhere but home.  Leave it anywhere else.  Don’t bring it home with you. 


  1. Find an outlet between work and home.
  2. Bad days happen and are mostly inevitable.
  3. Keep the toxicity outside the household.
  4. Try new things and keep what works.
  5. Redirect the negativity into something useful.

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