Lesson 27: Look for the signs, good and bad

It would be nice if everything was easier to understand but things in life aren’t always clear.  You need to pay attention.  You need to focus.  Listening and paying attention to everything, big and small, can make all the difference.  Attention to detail is critical because the details are important.  No matter what, there are always signs telling you how things are going.  Sometimes they are obvious.  Continuous smiling, affectionate acts, laughs, and constant excitement.  A lot of the time, the signs can sneak up on you, and if you aren’t paying close enough attention, you might miss them entirely.  

Don’t let them catch you off guard.  The last thing you want is for things to seem like they are going well and then realize that you must have missed something because things went bad.  This is where happiness checks come in handy.  You need to ask questions.  These can be the times that communication is the most critical.  If you don’t know, ask.  If you are not sure, ask.  If you think you know or believe you are sure, ASK ANYWAYS.  Let them know how important they are to you by keeping the communication active and frequent.  Knowing that you can ask is not an excuse to not pay attention.  It is a valuable tool to use in order to gain clarity about the situation.

Pay attention to their answers, but don’t get tunnel vision.  What they are saying is important, but it is not the only thing you need to pay attention to.  Most of the time there is a problem, it is hidden by what they are not saying.  If you start seeing signs that make you feel uneasy, trust your instincts.  Your instincts are a lot smarter than you are.  This is not a cause for arguments or accusations.  It just means that something is not being communicated properly or there is a serious problem with the relationship.  You need to address it.  You both need to address it.  Relationships are a team effort.  The longer you wait, the worse it will get.  Like a fire, if left unattended, eventually it will rage out of control.

If you start seeing signs that make you feel like things are going well, capitalize on it.  These are the chances to turn something that is good, into something that is even better.  Buy them some chocolates and flowers.  Cook them a nice surprise meal one day when they get home from work.  Do something exciting or relaxing together.  Most importantly, let them know that things are going very well and that you are very happy.  Guess what!  They are not likely a mind reader either.  Communication is a two-way street.  Verbal and nonverbal communication are essential to constantly work on and improve.

Communicate!  Communicate!  Communicate!  It cannot be said enough.  Keep those lines of communication open and flowing.  Look at them when they are talking to you.  Put down your phone and make sure their phone is down too.  Pause the show or movie.  No pause?  Mute it.  Better yet, turn the TV off.  Ask yourself what is more important, finding out who dies next on Lost or the person that you are wanting to spend the rest of your life with.  Lost can wait.  Shows have reruns.  There are no clean redo’s when it comes to romance.  Pay attention to the ones you love.  Prioritize.  Don’t miss the things that matter.


  1. Things aren’t always easy to see.
  2. Both big and small, the details matter.
  3. Don’t get caught off guard because you missed something.
  4. What they aren’t saying can be just as important as what they are.
  5. Communicate!

1 Comment

  1. …pay attention; please…

    ♡ Signs
    ♡ Synchronicity
    ♡ Sub-Atomic Spaces
    ♡ Suggestions
    ♡ Signals
    ♡ Guidelines
    ♡ Pointers

    …please; pay fucking attention…



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