Lesson 42: Don’t leave the good things unsaid or undone

Regret is toxic.  Potentially deadly.  Most of the regrets I have ever had or ever encountered revolved around the phrases “I would have,” “I should have,” and “I could have.”  Those are, in my opinion, the famous three letter phrases that proceed something the speaker feels regret or remorse for not having said or done something they feel or believe they should have.  These, in turn, lead down a dangerous psychological path that becomes more difficult to escape as time progresses.  It sounds so easy for someone to tell you to not have any regrets.  The real question is, “is it possible to live an entirely regret free life?”   

We all have moments where we feel this sentiment, and if you don’t, then I applaud you for never having missed the opportunities in your life.  If you are like most people, there is always room to add and improve your game when it comes to saying or doing everything so that there are no regrets.  It is doubtful that you will live a life that is completely free of these experiences.  That doesn’t mean that they have to be bad or toxic though.  There is a way to turn them into an advantage.  You can eliminate the toxic nature of these regrets by reshaping how you view them.

Your attitude about anything determines the effect that things have on you.  Rather than remembering moments or actions as regretful happenings, turn them into an advantage.  Knowledge and experiences are the most valuable asset you possess and many of them come from less than desirable experiences.  Rather than focusing on the worst, pay attention to the value you gain.  You can’t change the past and there are no take backs, but you know, for the future, not to go that route again.  It is a mistake you will not likely make again and if you can maintain your focus on the value in that, you can counter regret with what is now a useful tool.  This is not an excuse to commit regretful acts, but it is a way to minimize the bad.

I have previously stated that if you think something is going to be a problem, you should treat it as if it surely will be.  I have also said that the little things matter.  Those concepts are about ensuring that the relationship and the connection between you and your partner stays strong.  This lesson is more about you.  Your attitude will impact those around you so it is important to ensure that your attitude stays strong.  The toxicity of regret can negatively impact others so it is important that you take care of yourself.  When you take these lessons and minimize regret, others will notice.  You will seem much better.  More kind.  Much more pleasant to be around.

It is important to be kind to others.  No matter how miniscule it may seem, a little kindness goes a long way.  There is no such thing as too many compliments and there is no such thing as an overabundance of kind gestures.  Even if someone says it is too much, deep down, you need to understand that there is a better chance than not that they deeply appreciate it.  The good things have a positive impact on others and there should never be a shortage of it.  It is as simple as making any positive observation about them and letting them know that you noticed.  It will also make you feel better.  Making others laugh is good.  Making them smile is great.  Be a positive presence in the lives of others.  You wont regret it and neither will they.

Why not?  You are already looking at them and unless you are completely zoned out, you are seeing so many different things all at once.  The opportunities are as abundant as your imagination and all you need is the will to focus on the positive.  Nice hair!  I love your glasses.  You look wonderful in those shoes.  I love your taste in fashion.  Did you do your hair?  Yes? You absolutely rocked it!  No?  So then you just wake up naturally with beautiful hair?  These are but a fraction of the vast array of opportunities to let your significant other know that they continue to be amazing and wonderful every single day.

Takeaways:

  1. Regrets are toxic to everyone involved.
  2. The longer you live in regret, the harder it is to get out of it.
  3. Turn regrets into tools of experience and lessons learned.
  4. A little kindness goes a long way.
  5. Making them laugh is good.  Making them smile is great.

1 Comment

  1. ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ “Regret and Remorse” ARE Amongst The Best Teachers of ALL EveryOne; it’s Crystal Clear Clarity that The Trick is To Learn, Don’t Dwell then Let ALL of It Go and Authentically Move On

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    Liked by 1 person

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