Lesson 48: Endure the hard times

Things don’t always go according to plan do they?  Even the best thought out plans end up going off track at some point and adjustments are needed in order to either get back on track, or get back onto a track that is similar or acceptable.  Do you have a back up plan?  Why?  Do you not have faith that plan A will work out?  Do you see how much thought and confusion I have inflicted without really having said anything of any real use?    I am a firm believer in having a dream.  Having a vision of what you want the future to look like and having some kind of plan to get you there.  The truth is, no plan will ever be good enough.  But don’t let that deter you from trying.  Having a plan will always be better than trying to wing it.

Relationships are tough.  Having a plan is a good start that provides a strong foundation to work with, but things often change.  Relationships need a good foundation to build upon.  They require constant effort to maintain and will undoubtedly be difficult at some point.  Your patience and love will be tested.  Your commitment will inevitably come into question and you will both have to answer for yourselves and each other as to how important the relationship is and how far you are willing to go in order to make things work.  How you both come at these challenges will serve as a reminder, whether good or bad, of what you can expect during the times when things are not all going your way.

Rough times should be expected.  You might not be able to plan for the specific nature of these rough times, but you can have a general idea of how you plan to face obstacles when they come up.  No one is perfect and life is not always, if ever, fair.  It is a shame that is the case, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.  You don’t have to let the bad times be worse than what they really are.  Life is challenging.  Work is challenging.  Relationships are challenging.  Put in the right perspective, that can be a good thing.  Even a great thing.  What is the point of living if everything always went according to plan.  There would be no room for improvement and growth.  There wouldn’t be very much excitement.  What is life without some adventure?

It is the rough times in life that help put things into perspective.  They allow you to properly understand how great the good times are and to have a little more appreciation and gratitude when things are going well.  It is the rough times that show whether or not you are with the right person.  The person that is meant for you.  The person that is willing and able to go through the hard times with you because you both know that no matter how difficult things get, your connection and love to each other will endure, no matter what.  There is also the satisfaction of successfully overcoming adversity and being able to share that victory with the person that matters most to you.

I have never heard of a relationship in my life that didn’t have a lot of ups and downs.  There is only one constant in life and that is things change.  Life goes on.  Things don’t pause because you are having a rough time and that is a good thing.  It may suck in the moment and maybe you think it is too much to handle, but if you are with the right person, you won’t be facing it alone.  That is the first step.  Identify what the issue(s).  That is the second step.  Come up with a plan of action.  That is the third step.  Execute your plan.  Fourth step.  Review and adjust accordingly.  Final step.  Words make it seem simple, but that is the only course in order to conquer problems.  

Walking away and ignoring are options as well, but those options will be waiting for you as soon as you get back.  Or, they will be waiting for you at the next relationship because it is likely you gave up on the last one or the problems eventually caused the relationship to fail.  Or maybe you will get to the next relationship and after some good times and happiness, that same problem will spark again.  The sooner you face the problem, the better off you will be.  Always.  Don’t let problems grow.  Face them head on and face them together.  Two is better than one and with two parties addressing the issue, the problem is automatically cut in half.  Don’t give up on people.  Most importantly, don’t give up on yourself.

Takeaways:

  1. Have a plan but plan for change.
  2. Relationships are tough and ever changing.
  3. Having a solid relationship foundation can help when the hard times arise.
  4. The sooner you face the hardship, the better off you will be.
  5. Don’t give up on others or yourself.

2 Comments

  1. ♡ I Switched from The DisAppointment of Rigid, Inflexible Planning to The Joy of Fluid, Flexible Planning EveryOne; the Mental Health Benefits ARE Amazing

    …♡♡♡…

    Like

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