Untitled Soul Dive

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about things that never really occurred to me when I was younger. Things like mortality, appreciation, love, trust, kindness and time. I am not going into all of these here and now, but I wanted to take a moment to talk about trust and love.

A few years ago, I thought that my world had ended. Bad news compounded bad news. The world was on shaky ground, friends moved away, health battles, and to complete the icing on the cake, the person I considered my significant other decided it was time to give up on us. I couldn’t afford the place we were living on my own.

At 34 years old, I moved back in with my parents. I felt like a complete loser. Nothing was going right. I was working at a job I hated and things just seemed and felt rotten. But I learned a valuable lesson when I was in the military. The military was a lot of things to me. One of which was a magnificent teacher. This lesson changed my life.

Sometimes, things get tough. There is always someone who has it worse than you. The lesson I learned is that no matter how hard things get, most of the time, you have to hang on just a little bit longer. I did. Sometimes, you need to try something new. Something that you maybe even used to scoff at. I did. Sometimes you have to trust that the right things will come at the right time. I did……

And then they did. I met someone that changed me. Changed me in the ways I wanted to be changed. She saw me for who and what I really am, not the mask that I put on for everyone else. I can be anything I want to be when I am with her and I trust that she loves me, no matter how dumb or silly I act sometimes (*she rolls her eyes……okay…..pretty often).

Love and trust. Just because you have never had something special, doesn’t mean you don’t deserve something special. And it doesn’t mean that it won’t ever come. Hang in there. Trust that things will work out. Trust that you deserve to be happy. Trust that you deserve to be loved.